Worthless Memories
by cal40241
Summary: Catherine never bothered to let Eddie know she wasn’t sleeping with Gil Grissom.


Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, and that's probably a good thing, because all I'd write would be romantic angst.

Catherine never bothered to let Eddie know she wasn't sleeping with Gil Grissom. The idea was just so ridiculous to her that it never crossed her mind to clue her husband in on the fact that she wasn't the one who was unfaithful.

And now he's come to her office to defend this ridiculous second mortgage. He's pinned her against a wall with his foul breath and cruel whispers assaulting her senses, and she knows she should be scared. But Eddie was always a bully, and she never expected him to change. She can remember so many times when he did this romantically, and when she had enjoyed it. She remembers when _she_ used to pin _him_ against walls and wrap her legs around him, just because she could. But times changed, and the only times he touches her now are when he's angry.

Grissom pulls Eddie away from her just as he tightens his grip on her wrist, and she knows she'll have a bruise. She's never been the type of girl to need rescuing, but Eddie has a way of bringing out the worst in her, so she's glad for Gil's interference.

As she hurries away, Catherine hears threats from her boss and taunts from her ex. _I always knew you two had a thing._ It was always about sex with Eddie, always about what she'd done wrong.

She continues down the hall and into the break room to get some ice for her wrist. Really, she's just avoiding Lindsey, because she doesn't think she can handle disappointing her daughter yet again. The ice is soothing against translucent skin as Catherine bites her lip and remembers a time that still feels like someone else's life.

"_Where've you been? It's six in the morning!"_

_"I work the night shift Ed. The suspect took a while to confess."_

_"Work my ass. You've been with that Grissom guy. Don't lie to me!"_

_"He's my boss. Of course I've been with him. Is Lindsey asleep?_

_"Stop lying to me, you bitch. Don't expect me to believe a word that comes out of your mouth. You used to take your clothes off for a living. Sluts don't die just because they wear business suits and work in labs."_

_"Eddie, I'm tired. I don't have time to decipher your mood swings now. I'm checking on Lindsey, and I'm going to bed. Maybe today you'll have time to actually find a job instead of criticizing the "slut" who keeps a roof over your head."_

Their conversations used to repeat themselves every morning when she got home late, because she always lingered over microscopes and civilized conversations. Eddie was always eager to make her only escape into something dirty.

She never told Eddie that she wasn't cheating on him because it just seemed so obvious that if one of them was going to be the one to try to make their marriage work, it would be her. Catherine never figured out what Eddie suspected until the night he screamed at her with a broken lamp held over his head and she finally had the sense to walk out the door. She was sort of like Grissom that way; so blinded by her new job and her potential that she forgot about all the other loose ends in her life.

It doesn't surprise Catherine that Eddie has managed to make this all her fault, and that he's so convinced that Gil is the reason their marriage failed. Eddie wants an excuse for them to hate each other, and the slightly mad scientist with the love of bugs is so perfect for the role.

Catherine knows she never slept with Gil Grissom, and she knows he won't feel the need to mention Eddie's comment. She and Gil both know that they could have some sort of relationship if they wanted. They're so different that things just might work out between them. But some people are far too good together to ruin it all with love, and so they're just friends. It works for them, and she wouldn't expect someone like Eddie to understand.

She's standing in the break room with a numb wrist and a pounding heart, trying to work up the nerve to go to her daughter. She's a single parent, she can't seem to stop working, and she now has a second mortgage to pay. But she can't bring herself to feel too upset, because she knows she has her team, and she knows she'll never again need someone like Eddie to make her feel whole. And that's worth much more than a few extra bills to pay.

This was my first CSI story, so let me know what you think!


End file.
